The fascinating conversation in Greek between Jesus and Peter after the resurrection.

In John 21:15-17, where Jesus was visiting with His apostles after His resurrection, He has a special conversation with Peter. Remember…Peter had failed to identify with Christ and actually denied Him 3 times before the crucifixion, after promising to never forsake or deny Jesus. So, the Lord felt the need to address this situation in this exchange with Peter. Here He reversed the scenario and asked Peter three times if Peter really loved Him or not. This is so interesting how Christ, in His wisdom, restores Peter through questions in John 21:15-17.
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love (agape) me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love (phileo) you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs”. Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love (agape) me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love (phileo) you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep”. The third time Jesus said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love (phileo) me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love (phileo) me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love (phileo) you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep”.

Before the crucifixion, Peter had boldly stated that he loved Jesus so much, he would never leave Him or forsake Him, but would even lay down his life for Him, if it ever came to that. That exchange between the two of them is recorded in Mark 14:27-31 and in other places.
“You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: “I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not. “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.

You can see the irony here in this post resurrection conversation. Jesus asked Peter the first time if Peter loved (agape) Him. When Peter responded, he was not so bold and assured of himself, because he knew he had denied Jesus 3 times (as predicted). So, Peter uses a different word for “love” known as “phileo” rather than still claiming he had that “agape” love for Christ. In simple terms, “Agape love” is that unconditional love that flows from the character of God…pure and unfailing love based on God’s choice to do so. This is the kind of love Christ has for us.

“Phileo love” is a brotherly love or deep friendship love springing from the relationship between two people like Jonathan and David in the Old Testament ("Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul."…1 Samuel 18:3). Any two people who are sincere friends can have this brotherly love. The city of Philadelphia is called the “CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE”. Phileo is the first part of the name Phila-delphia (coming from the name of a city in Asia Minor mentioned in Revelation in the New Testament. The name of the city meant "brotherly love" from the Greek φιλέω (phileo) meaning "to love" and ἀδελφός (adelphos) meaning "brother". It is also the name of the city in Pennsylvania.

Jesus was not satisfied with Peter’s reply, so He asked Peter again if Peter really loved (agape) Him. Again, Peter reduced his claim on agape love for Christ to phileo love. So, Jesus in His infinite wisdom asked Peter the third time if Peter really even loved (phileo) Him. This broke Peter’s heart, because he was saddened that Jesus would question Peter’s phileo love, but Peter could say that he truly did love Christ in the phileo way (the brotherly love way or genuine friendship way).

Three different times, Jesus told Peter that if he really loved him in the agape way or the phileo way, that Peter would feed and take care of Jesus’ sheep (those Christians in the future who would come under the pastoral care of Peter. One of a pastor’s greatest responsibilities is to do whatever it takes to feed and grow the sheep into full-fledged, active disciples/servants of Christ.

Through this exchange, Peter was restored in his intimate fellowship with Christ, and knew what his calling was all about. Peter, through the grace of God, did grow into that genuine agape love for Christ and did end up proving it by his willingness to be crucified for Christ in the city of Rome. When he was told he would be crucified, he requested that he be crucified upside down, because he was not worthy to be crucified in the same way Christ was.

So Peter’s experience was one for all of us to learn from. We better be careful about how we brag on our love for Christ or our devotion to Christ or our willingness to do anything for Christ…like die for Him. All we can think and say is that by the grace of God and grace of Christ, we will be able to love Him and serve Him and do what He asks of us. And as we continue to walk with Him daily, we all really can grow into that agape love for Christ, that Peter grew into in his later life – where he really did feed and care for the sheep and he really did lay down his life for his Lord.

Yours in Christ,
Gene